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A typical crazy day in SA

  • By Alan Knott-Craig
  • November 28, 2014

So I was mugged yesterday

Its the second time I’ve been mugged in SA. I was once mugged by six tik-fuelled 10-year olds at 3am in Cape Town CBD. 

I think I’ve been mugged in Spain and New York (although I can’t be sure, I’d had a few drinks).

Yesterday I was in Kayamandi, helping our nanny, Locadia, load her bags into my car so she could take presents home to her family on the long distance bus in Bellville.

I’m parked in the parking lot of a primary school across the road from Locadia’s house. Children everywhere, parents standing around.

Whilst loading car a dude came up to me with a knife and made a half hearted attempt to stab me. 

Dude? WTF?

Grown man, a bit scrawny, wild eyes, shaking. Knife in hand.

“Please, take my phone.”

Off he runs up the street whilst about 60 small children stare at me. 

Locadia is of course mortified. But there’s nothing to do except carry on loading the car and make sure she doesn’t miss the bus.

The biggest inconvenience is that with the loss of my phone I’ve lost Google Maps, and I have absolutely no clue where Bellville long distance bus station is located.

Just before we depart I notice a guy standing on corner. He shouts out that he’ll call the police and take them to the house of the thief.

I tell him the police are a great step, but all I really want is my phone back. I post a $170 reward and say I’ll be back in 5 hours.

Drop Locadia. Have lunch with Branko (who lends me a spare phone), and then head back to Kayamandi.

Phone waiting, collect, its all good.

That sums up the craziness that is South Africa.

Good people, bad people, normal people. 

Tik-fuelled knife-wielding mugger.

Innocent bystanders watching it unfold (including kids).

Stranger risks his life by chasing down the tsotsi and getting back my phone. 

We live in an interesting country. Sometimes too interesting.

I love South Africa.

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